Self-Care vs Self-LoveJan 08, 2021
What is self-care really?
Most people have a very specific definition of self-care. They may have a specific self-care routine. They take a bath, have a glass of wine, read a book - essentially they have found their way to unplug and recharge. Others use exercise as self-care - their way to take care of their body everyday and release stress. There are countless self-care practices out there that we could subscribe to.
However, also for most people, these acts of self-care help in the short term, but they never completely solve the stressor or the problem. I might even suggest something slightly controversial and say they're actually using self-care as a tool to bypass the issue altogether. What most people consider self-care is actually not dealing with the issue at all and instead pushes the trigger away so they can retreat. I can't tell you how many times people would tell me that I needed to do more self-care when I was upset or spiraling about something. Somehow that bath or that massage was my answer? Sorry, no.
Please know, I'm not saying to stop taking baths and exercising. Not at all. But what I am saying is instead look at WHY you have the self-care routines you have. For me I was insanely religious about my exercise routine. I would run 3 miles every day before I left for work, no matter what. My body was exhausted and I kept hurting myself and I couldn't figure out why. I was also still spiraling out at work and in my relationships. Clearly I just needed more self-care right?
What I really needed was more self-love. I needed to put my WHOLE self first in everything I did. I needed to choose me over my job, my friendships, even my children. And I needed to do it in every moment of every day.
Self-care is loving yourself enough to put YOU first in every moment of every day
I needed to check in with my physical body about how it wanted to move today. Did I want to run, or did going outside for a hike feel better today?
I needed to check in with my emotional body. What emotions were being triggered in a situation? How could I feel and then release them so I could stop stuffing down and storing them?
I needed to check in with my mental body. What was on my mind that needed solving? Was this something I needed to spend time meditating on or journaling? Or was this something I just needed to check off my to-do list so I could stop allowing the energy pull thinking about it unfinished?
And perhaps the biggest, and most overlooked is I needed to check in with my spiritual body. What messages were coming through that I was ignoring? Where was I not listening to my own inner guidance?
Running for me was escapism. It was a way to hide from myself and the world for 30 minutes every day. It allowed me to not have to deal with everything that was coming up for me emotionally. I started running during a very difficult time in my life, and it for so long was a survival life line. But it wasn't solving anything. It may have helped me in the short term, but it was the actions that I took, the changes that I made, and the akashic timelines and emotions that I collapsed, that allowed for the transformation to take place and the healing to begin.
When we feel stressed, our body is speaking to us. Sometimes forcibly so, making us slow down. But it's not so we can go get another massage. What it's asking us to do is actually take a look at what is surfacing. What emotions or akashic stories are coming up that are ready to be released? What did that trigger really bring up in our body? Maybe that coworker pushing your buttons, caused your shoulders to ache because there's a cord and contract ready to come out. Our body truly is brilliant, and all we have to do is listen.
If we all loved ourselves enough to allow ourselves to really heal - just imagine the magic we could ripple out into the world. ❤️
Your story holds the keys to your healing. Together we will unlock your ability to take the next forward step that your soul is calling for.
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